Intolerable Cruelty, starring George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones -- A Movie Review

Come with me to a world that feeds on human misery, animosity, and contention. Underhandedness and back-stabbing are admirable traits, and the concept of love is not only foreign, it’s laughable. This is the world of matrimonial law, people by private investigators, divorce attorneys, and their clients. Our story begins with a man of some considerable means (Geoffrey Rush). His gorgeous wife is in the bedroom to greet him home from his hard day of work – with guilt written all over her face, and a sexy pool boy locked away in the den. The loving wife proceeds to assault his rear-end with one of her husband’s many trophies, and then makes a getaway in his Jaguar while he takes pictures from the balcony above.

Fast-forward to the office of Miles Massey (George Clooney). He’s a five-star divorce attorney with a reputation for winning cases that were deemed impossible, and winning in a very big way. He never truly had a challenge in his life until he met Marilyn (Catherine Zeta-Jones), his client’s ex-in-the-making. She comes across as sweet and innocent, and there’s no reason she shouldn’t win her case – she thinks. Massey summarily exposes her as a gold-digger, and sends her packing without a penny from her marriage.

Marilyn is out with a vengeance, looking for the next fool with more cash than brains that will marry her. However, she won’t repeat her mistake this time – she already retained Massey’s services before her husband-seeking began. Her financial independence may be found in a clueless oil tycoon (Billy Bob Thorton). Her rampant evil doesn’t stop there, and even the savvy Massey may find himself on the menu.

Commentary

The cast of Intolerable Cruelty – which includes Clooney, Zeta-Jones, Thorton, Rush, and Cedric the entertainer – did an excellent job of proving that a great cast does not make a great movie. It is certainly true that the film is chock-full of great acting talent, and all were beautifully-matched to their characters. Unfortunately, a poor script, lackluster story line, and overall predictability overshadowed all of that great talent.

Believe it or not, they do make dark romantic comedies, and this is an excellent example of one of those. There are even a few minutes near the end that aren’t entirely predictable, but they are sadly short-lived. The “intolerable cruelty” title and tagline are, unfortunately, as far as the cruelty really goes – the story hints at it, but it’s not really played up to the point you’d expect, especially after that exceptionally cruel beginning with Rush and his assaulted backside. That beginning suggests that you can be in for all sorts of guiltless spiteful and hilarious hijinks throughout the film, but you’d be sadly mistaken.

Overall, there ended up being a lot of wasted time with really poor pacing, and way too much running around without anything really happening – deterring Rottweilers isn’t a story. After an intriguing beginning, the film falls flat and drags for the duration. The only real action starts – and is interrupted by the credits. This might be a good laugh for someone on the tail end of a bitter divorce that just doesn’t feel great about humanity or romance at the moment, but otherwise there are much better comedies on the market, and even much better comedies with the same great acting talent, but put to much better use.